Why is it that University has been the loneliest time of my life?

There are many ways in which I could explain this, however I am going to choose nearly the beginning of my life. So here it goes! From the age of 6 when I found out what University was and that my cousin had been, I wanted to go. All of my life I had aimed to receive a letter stating I had a place at a Uni. To get out of my small, scummy town where people never really grew as humans. The people around me just became products of their rough surroundings. I wanted out. I wanted to better myself, meet new people, develop new wonderful friendships and to learn. I had heard about all the amazing stories from older kids of how brilliant uni is, how fun and how you’ll make friends for life there. I have never been so excited for something, this may have been because I had finally made the cut to trot off and become someone else. This was something I had prepared for and aspired to for pretty much 99% of my teenage life.  However, when I got to uni I did not find myself in the funny situations with tons of friends like the stories I had been told.

When choosing my accommodation for university I chose halls, of course this is the best way to make friends. That is what I wanted to do most of all. I thought this would help me. My first night in halls after all the unpacking had been done and my mum had left for her 2 and a half hour journey home, I laid on my bed alone. With no friends around me or remotely close. This was not something I  was not used to. This is the first time I had ever truly felt lonely. I persisted though, I tried to socialise with my flatmates, my classmates and people on other courses. I tried to smile at strangers and spark up conversations with them. Homesickness was consuming me and every thought I had was either of wishing I had my friends around me or wishing I was home. Many times I would look out of my window to see the building and most of its 570 rooms and think to myself that I had never felt more lonely in my life. Surrounded by people but none of them my friends or people that I got along with. My flatmates were okay, but I didn’t feel comfortable with them.

To socialise more and give myself a sense of purpose, I got a job as a waitress. Every weekend I now work with friendly people and get to talk to strangers as a job, which I love. I go to the gym and work on myself. I study hard and I try to fill my time. The reason why I never really made friends with the people around me may be due to my course only having around 20 people on it and my university being a small one. However it has never stopped me feeling lonely, it has got better though. I talked to my friends from home that are also attending uni and realised I’m not the only one. I believed before I attended university that these three years were going to be the best years of my life, filled with booze, pranks, learning, friendship and fun. When I got got here I realised how wrong I was, for me anyway. Knowing that I am not the only one helped massively and if you feel the same do not worry. I spend my time doing productive things and talking to my friends from home (and other places), I speak to my mum on the phone at least twice a day and I know that I am surrounded by love and friendship. It just may be a 1 hour train journey away or a 4 hour car journey.


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